Below is a communication sent to the parents in the Decatur School System. These messages and resources may be useful to our community following Friday's tragic events.
Parents, teachers, and other adults:
Attached and below are some resources for parents and adults as
they think about their children/students in light of trauma and school
shootings. While some children/students may be oblivious, others will deeply
feel such situations and may not know how to process and express how they feel.
(They may give you a typical "I'm fine.")
Teenagers are at the unusual developmental stage; they have
characteristics of both children and adults. One attachment pertains mostly to
younger children. Another attachment concerns young adults (and has much that
relates to high school students).
A few quick suggestions:
- Keep communication open with your children.
- Monitor your children (including news intake). See
"Fact Sheet 3- Disaster and Trauma Responses of Children."
- Discuss in age appropriate ways. "A good analogy
is how you might talk about sex," adds Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed. D.
"You obviously wouldn't explain everything to a 5-year-old. Talking
about violence and safety is similar."
- Seek assistance from a counselor if needed.
Finally, the parents,
teachers and adults need to realize that these events affect us too. We also
need to take care of ourselves, apply the suggestions to ourselves, especially
in talking with others who can give support.
Ken Jackson, Ph.D.,
LPC
Head Professional
School Counselor, Decatur High School
310 N. McDonough St.,
Decatur, GA 30030
(404) 370-4420 ext.
117; (404) 370-0975 FAX
Links to Resource
Documents:
Talking with Kids
About News
Strategies for Talking
and Listening Through Your Child's Eyes
"Children think
about the news very differently from adults. News to kids is not just tragic
events or disasters; instead they define it to include their entire lives. A
child's "news" could be a dead bird on the street, a cut finger, as
well as a story about Hurricane Katrina.
"They also
interpret the news in personal ways. For example, when young children watch or
listen to news reports about crime, bombings, and hurricanes, they may worry
about their own safety. Because young children are not able to fully understand
cause and effect and distance, it's hard for them to make distinctions between
an immediate threat and one that is far away."
Diane Levin, Ph.D.
Professor of
Education, Wheelock College. Co-Author, The War Play Dilemma.
Talking about the news
with kids happens in everyday moments. Children ask questions in the car on the
way to school, in between pushes on the swings, and just when you're trying to
rush out the door. In one breath, they'll ask about a range of topics - from
the weather to the president to the latest war. And when difficult questions
come up, parents wonder how to respond.
To help the
conversation along, this article offers flexible suggestions for answering
kids' questions about the news. There is no script to follow but these strategies
can help you tune in to what your child is thinking and feeling and talk it
through together.
Start by finding out
what your child knows. When a news topic comes up, ask an open-ended question
to find out what she knows like "What have you heard about it?" This
encourages your child to let you know what she is thinking.
Ask a follow up
question. Depending on your child's comments, ask another question to get him
thinking, such as "Why do you think that happened?" or "What do
you think people should do to help?"
Explain simply. Give
children the information they need to know in a way that makes sense to them.
At times, a few sentences are enough. "A good analogy is how you might
talk about sex," adds Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Ed. D. "You obviously
wouldn't explain everything to a 5-year-old. Talking about violence and safety
is similar."
Listen and
acknowledge. If a child talks about a news event (like a local robbery or
kidnapping) and is worried,recognize her feeling and comfort her. You might say
"I can see you're worried, but you are safe here. Remember how we always
lock our doors." This acknowledges your child's feelings, helps her feel
secure, and encourages her to tell you more.
Offer reassurance.
When a child is exposed to disturbing news, she may worry about her safety. To
help her calm down, offer specific examples that relate to her environment
like, "That hurricane happened far away but we've never had a hurricane
where we live." Actions speak louder than words - so show your child how
you lock the door if she gets scared by a news report about robbers, point out
the gutters and storm drains if a hurricane story causes fear, and explain what
the security guards do at the airport after a story about terrorists.
